Some of the songs that actually made my post o levels holiday special. But i have to scratch the first song. Listening to it does not feel the same anymore. It doesnt feel special anymore. It doesn't help me reminisce that awesome day i met you, looking into your eyes with that song playing in the background. As much as it hurts, i can't do anything about it. I know its just a stupid song. But it made me feel. It was part of the process of me finally opening up and trusting myself to someone. but i guess i just can't have it all.
Enough brooding over it,because nothing can undo what happened.
I find myself very hard to trust someone wholeheartedly. And i have said this before. I don't know why, but i refuse to. Because i know the person who i would trust my life to, would have the key to my weakness. He would be the one who could make or break me. So i refuse to trust.
But with you, i gave you all my trust. without even thinking about it. and to think i was so sure you wouldn't hurt me......
I don't know why. But even with the countless sorries, i still find myself curled up in bed crying every now and then.
Or maybe its the insecurities i have about myself thats making me feel shitty. I don't know.....
