.

the feeling of hatred

the feeling of being insignificant

the feeling that i will never be satisfied with what i have in my life right now and that nothing is ever enough.

Without You

I can't look, I'm so blind
Lost my heart, I lost my mind without you without you.

Soundtrack of my summer

Some of the songs that actually made my post o levels holiday special. But i have to scratch the first song. Listening to it does not feel the same anymore. It doesnt feel special anymore. It doesn't help me reminisce that awesome day i met you, looking into your eyes with that song playing in the background. As much as it hurts, i can't do anything about it. I know its just a stupid song. But it made me feel. It was part of the process of me finally opening up and trusting myself to someone. but i guess i just can't have it all.

Enough brooding over it,because nothing can undo what happened.

I find myself very hard to trust someone wholeheartedly. And i have said this before. I don't know why, but i refuse to. Because i know the person who i would trust my life to, would have the key to my weakness. He would be the one who could make or break me. So i refuse to trust.

But with you, i gave you all my trust. without even thinking about it. and to think i was so sure you wouldn't hurt me......

I don't know why. But even with the countless sorries, i still find myself curled up in bed crying every now and then.

Or maybe its the insecurities i have about myself thats making me feel shitty. I don't know.....

I'm an ugly person

Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly Ugly

don’t believe you baby like I did before

I feel messed up, lonely, disappointed and sad. But I can't do anything about it. I need a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

But there's no shoulder tonight so I guess I'll just settle for my pillow and hide under the sheets and cry.

On a brighter note, my cousin's living with us! It's like having a big sister for a change. This is gonna be exciting. MBS today with the family today was pretty fun.

Ciao bubs.